... on the boob

breastfeeding. 

touchy touchy subject, aye?

especially here in the blog land.

see, a lot of us bloggers, are women and/or mothers

and passionate ones we are. 

so many people get into blogging to express their opinions 

and write about details of their lives that can be, somewhat, personal. 

i have read many of blogs on breastfeeding

and the opinions that each writer has can vary but basic is that 

'breast is best'

yes, we all know.

but, let's be honest here

it's not in the cards for everyone.

yeah, i know it's 'natural' to breast feed

back in the old days, before milk existed [ha] all they had were boobs

ETC ...

I GET IT.

but, shouldn't it be ones personal choice to breastfeed or not

some people just may not feel comfortable with it.

doesn't mean they're horrible or any less of a mother/woman/human than the next?

that being said, i did breast feed kullen for all of 3 days

then i was discharged and he was not.

they had no choice but to give him bottles and when he was finally home

he wanted no part of breast feeding.

sure, i'm sure if i kept at it and didn't give him to my 6 day old screaming newborn

it would have worked

but being a first time mother, having your child SCREAM in hunger

was horrid for me.

i felt it better to feed him something than keep shoving a boob in his mouth if he didn't want it

i continued to pump for a few weeks and eventually switched to formula. 

the kids alright. 

with rhys, i do plan on breastfeeding again.

i'm hoping for no issues [baby being kept/me being dischaged]

and i'm sure if that's the case

things will go smooth as buttah!

AGAIN THOUGH

i have issues.

i have read more than one post lately about breastfeeding

and weaning

and the obsession it becomes

and it almost makes me sick

i don't want to become one of those mothers

who is OBSESSED with breastfeeding

and won't wean because THEY don't want too

they put their wants before their children

ALTHOUGH

i know there is nothing wrong with breast milk past the age of one

i just personally couldn't imagine breast feeding a one year old.

i feel like you're giving your kid a boobie complex at that point. 

maybe i'm totally wrong in that department

i wish there were studies on weird kids

and the correlation to the fact they were probably breastfed past the age of one.

[don't kill me breastfeeding parents of children over age one!]

again, these are just MY opinions here

but these post have scared me and almost make me NOT want to breastfeed

simply because i don't want to become obsessed with it.

and maybe i won't. 

maybe i'll breastfeed for six months and that'll be it

maybe i won't at all? 

maybe i'm judgy  [and believe me, i hate to use that term because i HATE to judge]

because i haven't had the AMAZING experience that some have had

and maybe once i do, i will fall in love with it?

i just don't know

nor do i see myself as that type of person. 

and furthermore, i don't WANT to be that type of person.

i feel like that type of person ends up being so PRO breast

that they degrade and belittle those that don't choose breast

and being on the other side of that, it doesn't feel good at all.

so, i may or may not update about my boobs in the future!

regardless, i'm going to give it a try.

i know that breast is best

there doesn't have to be any convincing me

it's natural and being that we had a few issues with kullen and formula

once we switched

i will try to do it for as long as i can 

but please, someone slap me if i become one of those women

who has a near two year old that still nurses!