& in this moment -

i am happy.

as i listened to the sweet melodic tune this morning, i realized how much this song means to me. i'm sure brandon boyd is referring to a girlfriend or friend in the song but i can't help to think of people that i've lost. it's nice to have a song that is positive and can remind you of the good versus a sappy sad song that does nothing but make you want to cry. [believe me - i have those too - ahem, kenny chesney.]

i am in a good place in my life. i have acceptance of those that i've lost - friends and family - and can say that despite, i'm happy. when i hear 'wish you were here' i realize that of course some moments in life would be happier if these people were still around but it's okay for me to be happy and continue on with my life.

i can't say that my outlook on death and acceptance won't change in the future if i lose someone closer to me (parent/sibling/spouse/child) because you never really know how death will affect a person. i believe that once you lose someone, you are never the same. that doesn't mean you shouldn't continue with your life and carry that person with you everywhere. remember the good and smile when you think of them because it's what they would WANT. i know when i die, i want my friends and family to think of me and smile - not cry. and i know it's hard when you've lost someone but the first time you can think of them and smile, is the first step to accepting the fact that they are not here PHYSICALLY anymore. death is a part of life and there isn't a thing we can do about it. cherish the time you have and remember the good you've lost.

I dig my toes into the sand

The ocean looks like a thousand diamonds

Strewn across a blue blanket

I lean against the wind

Pretend that I am weightless

And in this moment I am happy...happy

I wish you were here

I wish you were here

I wish you were here

I wish you were here

I lay my head onto the sand

The sky resembles a back lit canopy

With holes punched in it

I'm counting UFOs

I signal them with my lighter

And in this moment I am happy...happy

I wish you were here

I wish you were here

I wish you were here

Wish you were here

 

The world's a roller coaster

And I am not strapped in

Maybe I should hold with care

But my hands are busy in the air saying:

I wish you were here

I wish you were

I wish you were here

I wish you were here

I wish you were here

Wish you were here

it's also funny that this song takes place at a beach. i find myself missing those i've lost the most when i'm at the beach. i think, for me, it's because the beach is my favorite place to be and i always want to share it with everyone [whether it's via phone/text/facebook/blog] and i know that there is no way to share it physically with those people. BUT i can smile knowing they're looking down on me and they are there too - in the sand, water, wind, and every other earthy element.